This is really, really sad.

I coined a phrase over ten years ago:  “There are three political parties in this town:  The DCC, the FBI, and the IRS.”

The DCC is the Philadelphia Democratic City Committee… the organization which has ruled this town since 1952, where its official homepage looks like some sh*tty 1997-esque GeoCities website.  It’s a political cesspit.

Here’s a list from my memory of DCC candidates who have been investigated, indicted, charged, forcibly-resigned or pled guilty within the last few years.  I’m sure I left out a few since there’s just so, so many of them:

NEW!  Democratic District Attorney Seth Williams – Is now under investigation by the FBI and the IRS for his campaign finance expenditures.

Democratic Congressman Chaka Fattah – Currently under indictment for racketeering charges related to a scheme to repay a campaign loan he took out in 2007 to run for mayor of Philadelphia and also pay off his son’s college debts.   His son, “Chip” Jr. is also under indictment and awaits trial.

Democratic State Supreme Court Justice Seamus McCaffery – Nicknamed “Famous Seamus”, he was the first Philly cop ever to become a high-ranking judge and made his mark in history presiding over “Eagles Court’ in the old Veterans Stadium which was the former home of the Philadelphia Eagles.   Apparently being a mook was in his DNA because at his advanced age he was still forwarding porn throughout the state law enforcement community like some dirty uncle.  He resigned the bench in disgrace after four of his colleagues decided to vote him off Supreme Court Island.

Democratic State Attorney General Kathleen Kane – Currently under indictment for leaking secret grand jury testimony.

Democratic Sheriff of Philadelphia John Green – After three Philadelphia Sheriff’s Office employees pled guilty to fraud and an investigation launched by the City Controller’s office, the Sheriff after 23 years in office rapidly resigned and took his pension with him.   Later, under current Sheriff Jewell Williams, the office is raided by the FBI.   A forensic audit reveals that the Sheriff’s Office improperly distributes funds.  Current civil suits underway against Sheriff Williams indicates that the practice continues.

Democratic State Senator Leanna WashingtonPled guilty to conflict of interest charges.  In a vary rare event in this city, Washington was defeated in her re-election because her district represents part of Montgomery County as well as Philadelphia.   She is famous for shouting at a staffer: “I am the f—ing senator […] I do what I want” when her behavior came into question.   In response to her attitude, her suburban voters turned out in droves to get rid of her [Philadelphians tried to vote her back in and failed].

Democratic State Representative Michelle Brownlee – Pled guilty to conflict of interest accepting cash for favors.

Democratic Traffic Court Judge William Singletary – Pled guilty:  Perjury.  Was banned from the bench for showing “the judicial penis” to a court employee, and was also ticket fixing (acquitted of that).

Democratic Traffic Court Judge Fortunado Perri, Sr. – Pled guilty to wire and mail fraud.

Democratic Traffic Court Judge Thomasine Tynes – Pled guilty to perjury which also included a separate investigation over accepting this really fugly Tiffany bracelet valued at $2,000.   Seriously, who wears that?

Democratic Traffic Court Judge Robert MulgrewPled guilty to wire and mail fraud.

Democratic State Representative J.P. MirandaPled guilty to putting a “ghost employee” on the state payroll.

Democratic State Representative Ron WatersPled guilty to nine counts of conflict of interest accepting cash for favors.

Democratic State Representative and Democratic Ward Leader Harold JamesPled guilty to conflict of interest accepting cash for favors.

In the last five years, what’s the Philly Republican bodycount?  One.

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